limited

I’m sprawled out on my bed with wheat thins and leggings and theology books. My Christmas Time scented candle is melting and Sarah’s gone, so I feel a little lost. My birthday came and went and here I am, 21 years old and spending my Monday night re-evaluating my life. Again.

I actually have time on my hands now and I don’t want to waste it or spend it thinking too much, because thinking can get me into trouble. I just read the book of Malachi and after I finished the last verse, I remembered that following that verse, there were 400 years of silence. No prophesies, no words from the Lord. No encouragement, no advice or counsel. Nothing. For so very long.

Sounds familiar.

And I found myself turning to the book of Esther…a book that never mentions the name of God. Though the story is thick with His moving hand, His name is never acknowledged. And through it we can see the subtle, mysterious, often times hidden hand of our all-knowing God. I think we have come to expect God to say something. We expect a word from Him. We expect some grand revelation during worship or when we read our Bibles.

We expect some answers when we are so confused.

And we are disappointed when nothing happens.

Nothing’s been happening, guys.

But those four hundred years, they show me that our God is not only a God who speaks and reveals. He is a God that sometimes remains silent. He is a God that lets His people sit in unknowing while the world seems to crash around us. I felt scholarly so I looked up facts about those 400 years. A lot happened to the people of God during those four centuries. Leaders changed, governments were established, temples were cleansed, and revolts were initiated. It wasn’t silent and peaceful. It was silent and chaotic.

And God allowed that.

Four hundred years is so long. I cannot imagine.

And He left His people to seek Him. To cut through the thick clouds of confusion, reach their hands in front of them and look for Him. To follow Him despite darkness and the distracting noises of chaos around us. To trust that when the right time comes, He will speak again.

I couldn’t help but smile as I read more about the Silence. The Old Testament was translated into Greek during those four hundred years, did you know that? This Septuagint was written during the Silence. His hand continued to move; during that confusion, the books of the prophets were made available to non-Jews.

God moved during the silence to bring the outsiders to Himself. That amazes me.

And I wonder how the faithful ones felt. Those that died without ever seeing a Messiah. Those that waited so very long with nothing.

But then finally. After centuries of pain, chaos, confusion, and waiting. He came. And though His entrance was humble, His power was unmatched. His importance exceeded any other. When the silence finally broke, nothing was ever the same.

And so I will allow Him to move though I cannot feel Him. I will not assume something is wrong just because He is silent. If I can follow Him amidst the densest of clouds, following Him in the sunshine will be so much easier.

And I will wait with great expectation.

Because when He finally breaks the silence, it will be huge.