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I’m a big traditional person.

Like, sit in your regular spot at the family table kind of traditional. I’m that girl that will fight for that.

And today I almost threw multiple tantrums. If it weren’t for the whole “thankful, content” theme of the day.

First of all, I had to prepare my stomach for two feasts. All other years we go to Nana’s on one day and Grandma’s on another. To make things easier. But no, today we changed it up. Today we did both in one day. Today I probably doubled my normal calorie intake. Not normal. Strike one. I was already thrown off and we hadn’t even gone to anyone’s house yet.

Oh, and then at Grandma’s 1:00 pm feast we all decided we’d have our meal buffet style.

What.

No.

Grandma, we always pass the dishes around. What are we doing? I refuse.

So I sat down at the table but no one brought me a dish. After awhile of waiting to see if anyone else would be as livid as I was that we were having our Thanksgiving meal buffet-style, I walked over to the buffet and dished myself the food…appalled at what I was doing.

And then at feast #2, Nana and Grampy just didn’t do our annual Thanksgiving day quiz. I study for that quiz, guys. You win $10 if you get the most answers right on the Thanksgiving quiz. And they just didn’t do it. My world. Was crumbling.

Finally, it was the Thankful Bean Ceremony. You know, everyone grabs three beans, and we go around the circle saying three things we’re thankful for and throw a bean in the bowl for each one. It’s simple, it’s emotional, it’s my favorite. Plus you can win serious money for betting on who will cry first. And in my family, we’re guaranteed at least five criers per Ceremony.

So the Ceremony starts and I smile. Finally we have something normal going on.

And then, just as my cousin was getting really deep into being thankful for his upcoming missions trip, I hear crying. And then I hear talking. I hear toys clashing together and I hear “sshhh”s and I hear whines.

It’s my cousin. Her children. Too young to be able to pay attention or sit still during the Thankful Bean Ceremony. They were playing…in the middle of the circle. Distracting all of us. DURING THE THANKFUL BEAN CEREMONY.

Oh no. No no no no no.

I looked around to see if anyone else was as irritated as I was every time their high-pitched vocal chords would pipe in and ruin Uncle Lincoln saying he was thankful for his lovely wife, like he does every year. Is no one else distracted by them as I am? No one else wants to lock them in the basement until the Ceremony is over? Why are people laughing at them when they rudely draw attention to themselves? This. Is. An. Outrage.

The root of this may be deeper than my need for upheld traditions. Kids and I have had this awkward relationship for the past few years. After a high school career full of baby-sitting and daycare snots and nannying, the thought of kids kind of has made me want to…rip out my eyelashes. But only slightly.

It’s not like I hate them or anything. Really, I don’t.

It’s just I don’t ogle over them or constantly want to play with them. And honestly their dependency slightly annoys me.

You all think I’m a horrible person now, and I don’t appreciate your judgment. I do want kids someday, really I do. I think. Well, maybe. Do you know what babies do to you? Like…your…body? Look it up. It’s not all cuddles and kisses and candy canes.

I’m getting off topic.

Where was I? Oh right. The ruined Thankful Bean Ceremony.

We made it through the ceremony, despite numerous distractions and my being peeved most of the time.

Looking back on it, though, I may have overreacted. Maybe.

Because life is kind of like that, you know. Things that don’t go like they’re meant to because of one thing or another. Because of those metaphorical children that come in and make life less classy. Sometimes we pray for things and they don’t happen. Sometimes we envision events going a certain way and….they just don’t. It’s the kids that keep messing it all up.

The metaphorical ones.

And sometimes literal ones.

But mostly metaphorical ones. Mostly.

And we could be little divas and mope around that the feast was buffet-style and that there was no thanksgiving quiz or that the Thankful Bean Ceremony felt like the church nursery instead of a Thankful Bean Ceremony.

Or we could laugh.

Because the food was still good.

Because I now know numerous useless and little-known Thanksgiving facts.

And because the kids are pretty cute, I guess.

So maybe change isn’t that bad if you’re with the people you love. And as long as you choose to be grateful.

Unless we change around the seating arrangements next year. Then there will be hell to pay. Hell.