limited

Guys. I’m sitting here with this gauze in my mouth. And I hate the word “gauze.” My mouth looks disfigured, the left side of it feels completely swollen, and I almost cried at the movie Soul Surfer (I would have if I was alone).

There are few things like feeling your wisdom teeth get dug out. I was blaring my ipod and scrunching my eyes and squeezing my hands together as they dug…the grinding noises I heard…the cracking. Believe me, I would have gotten put under if I could. But insurance doesn’t cover it…

Jesus was speaking to me straight through the songs I randomly threw into a Wisdom Teeth playlist ten minutes before I sat in that chair. He was convicting me of my selfishness, of how I had hurt Him this summer with my self-pity, my distrust, my lack of faith. I would have cried sitting there, but that’s awkward. Grown women don’t cry at the dentist’s office, for pete’s sake. For a little bit I saw myself from outside of myself, and I saw what I’ve done and how I’ve handled people. He let me see my situation with His eyes.

He showed me that the times that feel “in between,” the times that we find ourselves just waiting. The times we tell ourselves we just have to get through, those are the most crucial times. We try to blast our iPod and drown it all out. We close our eyes and wait for it to be over. We squeeze the arm rests as hard as we can and we simply think of happier things. We just want to be put under.

The other day when I was running, I was struck by how much running has taught me this summer. And yes, it is all the cliché things that pastors have been telling us Sunday mornings.

When you’re going uphill, that’s when you’re working your muscles most.

If you find yourself running in the rain, or the intense heat, or with a muscle cramp, the only thing you can do is keep going.

When you’re tired and would rather sleep in or watch a movie than work out, that is when you have to use self control and just go.

And we’ve heard these things and countless others time and time again. And I do hate being cliché. But I’ve learned that those cliché things are the truest things. And I’ve learned that as much as I want my mile time to decrease and the muscles in my legs to increase, as much as I want my heart to be strong and my stomach to be small, I should want my character in the Lord—my integrity, my patience, my trust—to increase all the more. And just as I see uphills as an opportunity to increase my leg strength & endurance, how do I not see my metaphoric uphills in the same way?

It’s all so cliché, I know.

But convicting if you let yourself think about it.

And sometimes He has to get our wisdom teeth out. He has to dig deep, really deep. Because those teeth are messed up. And we hear scary noises and cannot believe what is actually happening to us…if I saw what they were doing to my mouth, guys…I don’t know…

And we feel our hands shake and our shoulders tense up. And we just want it to be over. But that is when we must listen. Because there just may be a song playing that He wants us to hear. He may be speaking, ever so softly, as He digs those crooked teeth out.

What He says could be something we have heard over and over again. Those awful running/life metaphors. But when we let it penetrate our heart and bring tears to our eyes and repentance to our souls, that is when those times that we wish would just end have become the most important ones.

And we have made the most of our time in between the sunset and the sunrise.

We all know I love midnight runs anyways.