baking & thinking, and other dangerous combinations
I'm baking.
Bet you never thought you'd hear those words coming from my mouth, eh? EH?!
The reason I'm baking, at midnight, in a snuggie, has nothing to do with the fact that I have any real reason to bake. But rather, because ever since my flu virus (which is one of the three things I'm actually allowed to use the word "sucks" in reference to at my house) I have been getting copious amounts of sleep. Anyone who knew me last semester, especially my roommate (that poor girl) knew me as the girl who never slept, or who fell asleep at 9 pm and woke up for the day at 3 am. That was my life. And now, I'm the opposite.
I went to bed at 11:30 last night and woke up at 9:15 this morning. This is not okay. WHERE IS THE OLD WHITNEY?!
Where is my irresponsibility? There is no fun, no spontaneity in 10 hours of sleep a night! This ends tonight, starting with baking. To give myself a reason to stay up.
Probably because I'm going through a quarter-life crisis of sorts.
Holding onto unpredictability for dear life...
in the form of baking...
DEAR LORD I'M STILL LAME!!!!!
And so I'm baking (that word is starting to sound weird...baking baking baking baking). At midnight. In a snuggie (I'm repeating myself: another sure sign of lame old age). To follow my dinner combination of Honey Bunches of Oats and chips & salsa.
I just realized I have a total of $110 in gift cards to WalMart. Because I want to assert my irresponsibility and youthfulness, I refuse to use them for groceries. So far my options are narrowed down to a bread maker and a bike.
Pros of bread maker: I CAN MAKE MY OWN BREADS ALL DAY EVERY DAY.
Pros of bike: less gas, more wind in my hair, hotter butt/legs, hipsterish, I will need an alternative way to work out after training for a full marathon
Cons of bread maker: I might as well change my life goal to having lots of babies and never leaving the kitchen except to make said babies.
Cons of bike: Bikes don't make bread.
This blog has JUST turned interactive. I don't care if you're my best friend, or a complete stranger. I need your input. Bike or bread maker? I'm so torn, and actually just as embarrassed that something so trivial is distracting me amidst my late-night baking frenzy.
I'm avoiding the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
procrastination = youth?
Right?
I'm grasping at straws here.
Anyway, for those of you who haven't figured it out, I hate cliches. Almost to a point of being judgmental. When people say their favorite Bible verses are Jeremiah 29:11, or Philippians 4:13, or John 3:16, something inside me twitches, and I'm not going to lie, I judge you. I judge you long and I judge you hard.
Which probably means I'm serving the god of non-cliche-ness rather than the Living God. Idolatry plus judging: an winning combination.
So this morning, convicted about my judgmentalism (not a word), I began thinking about John 3:16 and asked God to teach me something about it. Did your teachers ever tell you to insert your name into the verse?
"For God so loved Whitney that He gave His only begotten Son so that if Whitney believes in Him, Whitney will not perish but have everlasting life."
So I remembered that and cringed and thought, Lord, is that all there is?!?!
And then I remembered the beloved truth that if we are His, then we are in Him, and He is in us. We have access to the heart of the Father through His Son and if the Spirit of the Living God is within us, shouldn't we have the same mindset that God had? Are we inserting our names in the wrong spot? If we are saved, shouldn't we be able to say THIS about our hearts towards the lost:
For Whitney so loved the world, that she gave up (insert things we hold onto so that we don't have to witness, i.e. dignity, time, occupations, etc) so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
And I hope you don't think I'm blaspheming by inserting my name where God's was. But His heart is (or..should be...?) within us, right? Are we willing to give up things we love to see this lost world believe in Him, like God was willing to give up His precious Son for us? Do we care about them that much? Or even...at all?
If you are looking to me as a model of this lifestyle, you are looking in the wrong place. I'm so convicted by this. Wow.
But I think it's safe to say that something is wrong with our walks with the Lord, with the connectedness of our hearts to His own, if we don't care about the world with similar immensity that He did.
Bam. I suck.
Change my heart, Lord.
Time to do some dishes.
Bet you never thought you'd hear those words coming from my mouth, eh? EH?!
The reason I'm baking, at midnight, in a snuggie, has nothing to do with the fact that I have any real reason to bake. But rather, because ever since my flu virus (which is one of the three things I'm actually allowed to use the word "sucks" in reference to at my house) I have been getting copious amounts of sleep. Anyone who knew me last semester, especially my roommate (that poor girl) knew me as the girl who never slept, or who fell asleep at 9 pm and woke up for the day at 3 am. That was my life. And now, I'm the opposite.
I went to bed at 11:30 last night and woke up at 9:15 this morning. This is not okay. WHERE IS THE OLD WHITNEY?!
Where is my irresponsibility? There is no fun, no spontaneity in 10 hours of sleep a night! This ends tonight, starting with baking. To give myself a reason to stay up.
Probably because I'm going through a quarter-life crisis of sorts.
Holding onto unpredictability for dear life...
in the form of baking...
DEAR LORD I'M STILL LAME!!!!!
And so I'm baking (that word is starting to sound weird...baking baking baking baking). At midnight. In a snuggie (I'm repeating myself: another sure sign of lame old age). To follow my dinner combination of Honey Bunches of Oats and chips & salsa.
 |
| Actually a lot harder than it looks. Snuggies are not conducive to working in the kitchen. |
I just realized I have a total of $110 in gift cards to WalMart. Because I want to assert my irresponsibility and youthfulness, I refuse to use them for groceries. So far my options are narrowed down to a bread maker and a bike.
Pros of bread maker: I CAN MAKE MY OWN BREADS ALL DAY EVERY DAY.
Pros of bike: less gas, more wind in my hair, hotter butt/legs, hipsterish, I will need an alternative way to work out after training for a full marathon
Cons of bread maker: I might as well change my life goal to having lots of babies and never leaving the kitchen except to make said babies.
Cons of bike: Bikes don't make bread.
This blog has JUST turned interactive. I don't care if you're my best friend, or a complete stranger. I need your input. Bike or bread maker? I'm so torn, and actually just as embarrassed that something so trivial is distracting me amidst my late-night baking frenzy.
I'm avoiding the pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
procrastination = youth?
Right?
I'm grasping at straws here.
Anyway, for those of you who haven't figured it out, I hate cliches. Almost to a point of being judgmental. When people say their favorite Bible verses are Jeremiah 29:11, or Philippians 4:13, or John 3:16, something inside me twitches, and I'm not going to lie, I judge you. I judge you long and I judge you hard.
Which probably means I'm serving the god of non-cliche-ness rather than the Living God. Idolatry plus judging: an winning combination.
So this morning, convicted about my judgmentalism (not a word), I began thinking about John 3:16 and asked God to teach me something about it. Did your teachers ever tell you to insert your name into the verse?
"For God so loved Whitney that He gave His only begotten Son so that if Whitney believes in Him, Whitney will not perish but have everlasting life."
So I remembered that and cringed and thought, Lord, is that all there is?!?!
And then I remembered the beloved truth that if we are His, then we are in Him, and He is in us. We have access to the heart of the Father through His Son and if the Spirit of the Living God is within us, shouldn't we have the same mindset that God had? Are we inserting our names in the wrong spot? If we are saved, shouldn't we be able to say THIS about our hearts towards the lost:
For Whitney so loved the world, that she gave up (insert things we hold onto so that we don't have to witness, i.e. dignity, time, occupations, etc) so that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
And I hope you don't think I'm blaspheming by inserting my name where God's was. But His heart is (or..should be...?) within us, right? Are we willing to give up things we love to see this lost world believe in Him, like God was willing to give up His precious Son for us? Do we care about them that much? Or even...at all?
If you are looking to me as a model of this lifestyle, you are looking in the wrong place. I'm so convicted by this. Wow.
But I think it's safe to say that something is wrong with our walks with the Lord, with the connectedness of our hearts to His own, if we don't care about the world with similar immensity that He did.
Bam. I suck.
Change my heart, Lord.
Time to do some dishes.
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