procrastirambles

You know those angsty homework days? Those days where you find yourself wearing just leggings (only in my room...don't want to get written up...again) and Christmas shirts and realized you accidentally drank two energy drinks (and I can't really see my computer screen right now) and you are literally throwing fits to your roommate about the futility of figuring out M&M dye and then you realize you've already eaten all the M&Ms before the science experiment was finished and you can't decide which is worse: that accidentally popping a Skittle and an M&M at the same time pushed you to rock bottom yelling session that surely has your roommate looking for a way out next semester, or that you cancelled plans with a friend because of all the homework that was due (Rachyl I'm sorry and I love you) and then you're even more hopeless because everyone hates that person that keeps complaining about their homework. And realizing you're that person. That person with the run-on sentences and shaky fingers, from the energy drinks.

That person with the Santa shirts and M&M stains on her shirt.

I'm that person.

Listening to angsty Sunday afternoon music.

Wishing for time to go faster.

I'm realizing these are the crucial moments. The moments that show us who we are. I almost had a meltdown after church, from pure overwhelmment (not a word). But that is when we must stop and think.

Is this worth having a meltdown?

You've been here before.

And  you've made it out.

So take a deep breath, and STOP BEING SUCH A BABY.

Eat your skittles, drink your energy drink. Soon this will be a memory.

And remember He is in everything, even confusing science experiments and pointless papers.

We just need to look for Him.

And when you're feeling extra cynical and unmotivated, that is when your brain searches into its recesses and recalls old memories of extra-cynical songs.

And, whether it's healthy that a song like this makes you feel better, you don't ask questions like those. Those are irrelevant.

But He is here. He is here? He is here! What?! That is wonderful. Maybe that's a better thing to dwell on than this song.

Probably.

PS: I just renamed my Christmas playlist on my phone: Nativitunes. Why am I telling you this?

At one point I thought it was brilliant.

Not so much anymore.

Anyways...