birthday list.

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Well, tomorrow's the birthday.

And though there's a lot going through my mind right now (too much to form a coherent blog [and don't worry...I'll try to keep the caffeinated ramble blogs at a minimum from now on]) but I thought I'd devote this blog to answer the question I've been getting most lately:

What do you want for your birthday?!

Actually, that's a lie.

Really it's, "What are you going to do after college?" but we aren't going to delve into the complexities THAT answer entails. So we'll go with this question.

What do I want for my birthday?

Umm...uhh....

Well this is awkward.

Honestly I don't really care. Maybe my 21.99726 year-old self (did the math) has finally reached the point where birthdays don't matter much. I spent Sunday with my beautiful newly-married friend eating cookies and watching her wedding as well as terrible Christmas movies, and honestly that's more than enough for me. And tomorrow I'll be opening presents and getting happy birthday wishes from people I haven't talked to in years.

Confession time: I'm a Googler. I Google everything. And mostly it turns out disastrous. But the other day I Googled, "Puritan Prayers" because I was interested in them. And I found this beautifully articulated one. And so, all I want for my birthday is, well, this:


Lord Jesus, give me a deeper repentance, a horror of sin, a dread of its approach. Help me chastely to flee it and jealously to resolve that my heart shall be Thine alone.

Give me a deeper trust, that I may lose myself to find myself in Thee, the ground of my rest, the spring of my being. Give me a deeper knowledge of Thyself as saviour, master, lord, and king. Give me deeper power in private prayer, more sweetness in Thy Word, more steadfast grip on its truth. Give me deeper holiness in speech, thought, action, and let me not seek moral virtue apart from Thee.

Plough deep in me, great Lord, heavenly husbandman, that my being may be a tilled field, the roots of grace spreading far and wide, until Thou alone art seen in me, Thy beauty golden like summer harvest, Thy fruitfulness as autumn plenty.

I have no master but Thee, no law but Thy will, no delight but Thyself, no wealth but that Thou givest, no good but that Thou blessest, no peace but that Thou bestowest. I am nothing but that Thou makest me. I have nothing but that I receive from Thee. I can be nothing but that grace adorns me. Quarry me deep, dear Lord, and then fill me to overflowing with living water.

That's what I want.

Amen.

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