whitney dziurawiec

THERE IS A COUPLE THAT MET THROUGH AN ONLINE DATING SITE THAT IS HAVING THEIR FIRST DATE RIGHT ACROSS THE ROOM FROM ME. I'm in a coffee shop, supposed to be "doing homework." But this couple showed up. And now. And now nothing is going to happen tonight. Absolutely nothing. And it's actually a great coffee shop. It's new. And I like it. There are crazy-looking people here. Different people. I miss different people. I can't wait until May. Anyone who knows me is laughing at the thought of me doing homework. Please. Don't worry, I didn't drink coffee so this won't be one of those caffeinated rants that don't make sense and lack necessary words that I don't notice because I tend to read at astronomical speeds and write impossibly long run-on sentences when I'm on caffeine. And actually, it won't be very long. Because I actually need to do homework. But it's really no big deal. And this date. Is ruining my responsibility. ...

Lance handed me the bowl and I nervously fumbled with the Thankful Beans in my hand. Normally, I am prepared for my turn at the Thankful Bean Ceremony. Normally, I have planned out my three blessings well in advance and have meticulously thought through their delivery in attempt to make as many family members cry as possible (because there are bets on these things). Normally, the Thankful Bean Ceremony is my jam. Calling people out if they go past three (we have beans to help us keep track; it still doesn't work on some), shushing the children that clearly don't realize the importance of this ceremony, and playing hot potato with the tissue box as the waterworks begin. Maybe I was thrown off by the fact that Aunt Heather didn't cry, for the first time in a decade. Also, my mug was full of my fourth cup of coffee of the day. And finally, my pride never allows me to "fit in" and have "normal answers". Plus the inner struggle between childhood and wom...

Well, tomorrow's the birthday. And though there's a lot going through my mind right now (too much to form a coherent blog [and don't worry...I'll try to keep the caffeinated ramble blogs at a minimum from now on]) but I thought I'd devote this blog to answer the question I've been getting most lately: What do you want for your birthday?! Actually, that's a lie. Really it's, "What are you going to do after college?" but we aren't going to delve into the complexities THAT answer entails. So we'll go with this question. What do I want for my birthday? Umm...uhh.... Well this is awkward. Honestly I don't really care. Maybe my 21.99726 year-old self (did the math) has finally reached the point where birthdays don't matter much. I spent Sunday with my beautiful newly-married friend eating cookies and watching her wedding as well as terrible Christmas movies, and honestly that's more than enough for me. And tomorrow...

Well here we are. Formal number three is tomorrow...oh shoot today (it's 1:42 am). This is formal for me this year: Borrowed a dress from a friend. Letting my two week-old chipping manicure suffice for my nails. Haven't thought much about what shoes I'm wearing, or my hair. My date has a girlfriend who couldn't come to town this weekend. He asked me to formal when I told him all my boys stories, in an attempt to save me from an awkward formal date. I am forever indebted to him. I have to leave the dinner early to go set up for after formal. I would have seriously considered NOT going to the dinner if I didn't have a date. I waited until the complete last minute to buy everything for after formal. I've had funner Friday nights, that's for sure. Funner isn't a word. This week made me rethink life in general due to its utter insanity. Sleeping patterns were completely abandoned, people told me I looked like I was dying, and ten-page papers were du...

You know those angsty homework days? Those days where you find yourself wearing just leggings (only in my room...don't want to get written up...again) and Christmas shirts and realized you accidentally drank two energy drinks (and I can't really see my computer screen right now) and you are literally throwing fits to your roommate about the futility of figuring out M&M dye and then you realize you've already eaten all the M&Ms before the science experiment was finished and you can't decide which is worse: that accidentally popping a Skittle and an M&M at the same time pushed you to rock bottom yelling session that surely has your roommate looking for a way out next semester, or that you cancelled plans with a friend because of all the homework that was due (Rachyl I'm sorry and I love you) and then you're even more hopeless because everyone hates that person that keeps complaining about their homework. And realizing you're  that person. That pers...

Want to know where I am right now? my head looks detached from my body; also, I didn't mean to look ultra-depressed in this picture. it just happened. don't feel like changing it. already over it. You guessed it. Behind the pianos. Which, for those of you who don't know, isn't a good sign. This is only my third time back here (a truth we can attribute to dead bugs, cobwebs, odd smells, and the fact that it's not very comfortable), and, to put it lightly, this isn't exactly where I go to celebrate. I have been emotional lately (HATE being emotional) and this is my vent fest. Behind-the-piano style. We will now pause for those of you who have better things to do to exit the webpage. Part of me is elated. God has been working so much in my life lately. He has been showing me so much of Himself. I have spent a lot of the past few months seeking Him, and He is letting me find Him (a holy God lets us mere sinners FIND Him? what?!). He is making me less c...