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It’s been one of those days.

It’s been one of those weeks.

Yeah, it’s been one of those months.

And it’s definitely been one of those years.

What does those even mean anyway? The phrase is fairly ambiguous. I guess what I mean by those is exhausting. Stretching. Wearying. Probing. Itching. Desperate, on-your-knees, strength-draining, “Lord, I cannot do this without You,” kind of those. And it’s not all bad. These kinds of days and weeks and years are so good. I’ve never had a more fulfilling year of my life—I’ve never been more satisfied.

But I’ve also never been more tired.

I still have a few chapters to read before I go to bed. I should definitely get on that.

There is this one part in my Beethoven sonata. The part I’ve been working strenuously on since I first laid eyes on those two measures. Yep, only two measures. When I go full-speed, the part lasts about four seconds. Guys, I have spent hours on this part. Going slow, going fast. Just left hand; just right hand. Changing the rhythm. All because every time I get to that part, I mess it up.

And I was sitting at the piano the other day with this depressing thought: these two measures I have spent hours working on, and they will be over in four seconds. I may not even play it right at my recital. And all those hours were spent so that friends, family, and music majors required to watch performances would hear those two measures and not even bat an eye. The part doesn’t sound that complicated or hard. The audience will think nothing of it. No one will come up to me at the end of the recital and say, “Whitney, excellent job on those two measures…everybody could tell how much time you put into them.”

I’ll get a few “great jobs” and “I’m so proud of yous.” But no one will really know how much time I poured into those two measures…just those two seemingly unimportant measures. But there is something in my heart determined to get them right.

Sometimes life is like that—the hardest things for us to do, the things we work hardest at—go completely unappreciated. Hours, days, years could be spent doing something, and we may never get the accolade we deserve.

But I don’t practice those two measures for everyone to compliment them. I practice them because my focus is on excellence. Because playing these measures is for the greater good of the piece. Because I am determined to play it right.

Why do I work at what I work at? For a thank-you? For someone to take notice of me? Am I simply waiting around for a friend to tell me I’m handling my those days well? Or am I determined to press through them whether I get a praise or not? I only have a short time here on this earth….only two measures. So I’m going to practice, and practice hard. Because my focus is on pleasing Him. Because I want to further the kingdom and His glory. Because I am determined to be holy.

And because I simply love playing for Him.