"little d" deaths

Many people die for Christ; few ever live for Him.

I heard that statement today in church and said to myself, I would die for Him in a heartbeat. And I live for Him…don’t I?

But today we didn’t talk about capital-D Death. We talked about little-d death. Those little deaths we have to die to. Like the death of listening to a friend even when my problems seem much more important. Or the death of practicing piano two hours a day when I’d rather sleep, get homework done, work out, or actually do nothing. Or the death of choosing to be happy, choosing to be in a good mood and let others cheer me up, even in my deepest despair.

Or the death of being the only single one.

I try to stay alive, when all He wants from me is to die. Die to my selfish desires, my sense of entitlement, my longings, my rights, my feelings, my anger, and my laziness. And let Him live. Stop grasping for attention and pity, stop having to be right all the time, stop being bitter. And just die, already.

It would be easier to Die than it is to die every day.

But dying is what life is all about. Kamikaze, my death is gain.

And, oh, what beauty springs forth when His life is resurrected in my dead one.

Such beauty.