springtime newness and buds of hope
Spring came and smacked us all in the faces, but in the best way. Like a smack of cake in the face. Spring came early and smacked its sweet frosting of warm breezes and golden sun right in our faces and I'm licking it all up in a frenzy, vowing to never take warmth or sun or shorts for granted ever again. I didn't know I had Seasonal Affective Disorder until I realized that I now have a motivation to get out of bed that never existed in the past months. IS THIS WHAT LIVING IS LIKE?!?!
While spring budded in newness and change outside, God decided to smack our faces with a change of season we never anticipated. Picking us up, turning us around, asking us to run in a new direction. Utterly disoriented, we staggered on this path for days before even taking a step. We cried, we went to happy hour, we processed. Our hearts did not beat, they throbbed; our lungs didn't breathe, they sighed; our feet did not walk, they stumbled. And while we say good-bye to things we once held tightly, the things we planned and hoped for and dreamed of, we begin to take our first steps on this new path, paved with uncertainty and riddled with hurdles. We are increasingly more aware of how desperate we are for Him, and it's almost terrifying that we've unknowingly always been this desperate all along.
And we don't know how; we certainly don't know why, but we know where. And we walk there, because this path leads to our Savior, and He is all we want. We walk confidently upon these rocks of uncertainty knowing He will pick us up when we fall. We take step after step because His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect when we realize how weak we are. He slammed a door in our faces and it still stings, but we walk. We come before Him and we lay our hurts, our doubts, our fears, our bitterness, and we say, "Lord, You will deal with these; I cannot. I will look for you, seek and run after You, and leave You to attend to these burdens of my heart. I will not attend to them; I will attend to You."
We have lost all confidence in ourselves, yet our confidence has increased. Answers are few and far between, but our hope has soared. Our God is being silent, but we know from experience that His silence is not out of distance, but usually out of sly mischief. We know this small story is so minute to the Grand Tale He's writing. We know waiting almost always stretches longer than we think we can bear, we know our only guarantee is to know Him more, and that He is with us while we walk.
God has smacked us in the face, but it's the sweet smack of spring-like frosting, of shedding old and gaining new, of dying to self and living to Him. We joyfully do as our King asks, because we are His loving servants, His trusting sheep, His adoring children, and yes, Lord, we will follow.
While spring budded in newness and change outside, God decided to smack our faces with a change of season we never anticipated. Picking us up, turning us around, asking us to run in a new direction. Utterly disoriented, we staggered on this path for days before even taking a step. We cried, we went to happy hour, we processed. Our hearts did not beat, they throbbed; our lungs didn't breathe, they sighed; our feet did not walk, they stumbled. And while we say good-bye to things we once held tightly, the things we planned and hoped for and dreamed of, we begin to take our first steps on this new path, paved with uncertainty and riddled with hurdles. We are increasingly more aware of how desperate we are for Him, and it's almost terrifying that we've unknowingly always been this desperate all along.
And we don't know how; we certainly don't know why, but we know where. And we walk there, because this path leads to our Savior, and He is all we want. We walk confidently upon these rocks of uncertainty knowing He will pick us up when we fall. We take step after step because His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect when we realize how weak we are. He slammed a door in our faces and it still stings, but we walk. We come before Him and we lay our hurts, our doubts, our fears, our bitterness, and we say, "Lord, You will deal with these; I cannot. I will look for you, seek and run after You, and leave You to attend to these burdens of my heart. I will not attend to them; I will attend to You."
We have lost all confidence in ourselves, yet our confidence has increased. Answers are few and far between, but our hope has soared. Our God is being silent, but we know from experience that His silence is not out of distance, but usually out of sly mischief. We know this small story is so minute to the Grand Tale He's writing. We know waiting almost always stretches longer than we think we can bear, we know our only guarantee is to know Him more, and that He is with us while we walk.
God has smacked us in the face, but it's the sweet smack of spring-like frosting, of shedding old and gaining new, of dying to self and living to Him. We joyfully do as our King asks, because we are His loving servants, His trusting sheep, His adoring children, and yes, Lord, we will follow.
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