blankets of snow and unknowns

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It is an interesting time.

Though I think life always has that opportunity, to be interesting. Granted, I completely understand mundane schedules, endless nanny days, and pointless work shifts. However, one of the most beautiful things about life is that it always carries the opportunity to be interesting, and it is the interested who take hold of that, who appreciate moments, and find themselves with a story at the end of the day. It is the bored who are boring, the uninterested who are uninteresting. Those who see their lives, or jobs, or schools, as pointless who end up having pointless days.

And though the abnormalities that come with this season—the Christmas parties, the family nights, the snow-chilled mornings—carry a bit of newness in them, we can all agree that because of the tradition that Christmas carries, it has the potential to feel like a rerun every year.


PANTS.
normal and yet oh-so-wonderful

yearly anniversaries [redundant]
(I made them)


the face of being a slave to choir

NOT OVER PANTS.

seasonal caroling to the oldies.

YEARLY FESTIVE THINGS.

the ever-present Grace girl encouragement.
and then there's me.

weekly youth groups.

& old friends.




finals that always stand in our way of Christmas
and the procrastination that gets us through them.

and the yearly Christmas pajamas.

Christmas ruiners

daily  hot drinks


inevitable Christmas chapels & sweaters

and oh the juries.

getting pretty for the sixth Christmas party

&baking

Christmas brother, and

roommate pics

mottos.

festive costumes & movies.

baby-sitting days reminding me of how terrible of a mom I will be

Christmas dancing and pig tails

brothers & the nerf guns that accompany them

the beginnings of snowy blackouts

and finding pens in my hair because my dad thinks he is funny

mornings of refusing to get out from under my six blankets
while the world is blanketed in white


And yet, amidst the normal Christmas movies and the expected Christmas brunches, there is both heartache and heart-skips. Tragedies that remind us of the horrors done to firstborns when Jesus came, and dear cousins and friends that are GETTING ENGAGED (which makes my heart just flutter uncontrollably). The disappointment of friends who aren’t as close to coming to Jesus as they used to be, and the thrill of God’s leading and will in my life. We are conflicted. Well, I am conflicted. I don't know about you.

I’m not going to Boston anymore this summer, it’s official. And it's actually been official for awhile. Sorry for not telling you. That desire has gone as new ones have been kindled. Though the ambiguity of what exactly post-graduation will look like is still looming, I know Boston is not what He has for me, and I couldn’t be more elated about that, because it means He is leading me. 

Amidst the mundane and the expected about Christmas, there is a dawn of newness. The clarifying conversations, the understanding and relief that follows them. When sweet closeness of friendships are renewed. When I write messy, embarrassing, scary, new things to Him. When feelings that have been felt before are experienced afresh. When new opportunities for post-graduation are on the table and must be prayed about. And the firsts of the lasts have begun. The last Christmas break. Last finals. Last choir concerts. Last juries. There will be many more. 

The newness pierces the potential gloom of normalcy with a light I'm not sure I'm ready for. Graduation is a big word. Adult is a scary one. I have to think about things like finances, apartments, moving. 

Things are happening. Life is changing. It will be hard and will inevitably make me squirm at times, as God leads, weaves, paints, writes, and molds.

And I'm so excited for the beauty that is always knitted into the blankets of the unknown.


a close cousin and a treasured friend: ENGAGED.
can it get much better?

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