omitted o's and lots of no's
My "o" key is broken. Usually every time I press it it doesn't work and I have to go back and press it again. I'm feeling lazy, so this blg pst may not have every "o" it needs if I don't feel like going back to fix it.
Do you know what I should be doing right now?
Packing.
So if any of you know me at all, you'll know that's exactly what I'm not doing.
Things I am doing:
-wrking on an 80s playlist for after-formal.
-really the playlist is to drown out the girls singing on my hall.
-Which is very hypocritical of me because I sing everything. All the time.
-Why did I start capitalizing this list?
-What is this list even of again?
I CAN'T EVEN STICK TO MY LIST OF DISTRACTINS.
Fall break is so close. So close! So my mind laughs at me when I decide to "stay on task."
I am turning 22 in less than a month. TWENTY-TWO. It hit me today. Twenty-two year-olds are...WOMEN. Twenty-one? Still pretty young and crazy. But twenty-two? You tell someone yu're that old and they have a degree of respect for you. They expect you to wear grown-up clothes and to do something with your hair. At twenty-two, you are expected to wear real pants.
They want you to take out your side pony-tails when you are twenty-two.
Guys, I'm not a...woman. My mom is a woman. I have aunts that are women. I'm not a woman!
....but on November 20, I think I will be.
I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. Dear Lord what's going to happen when I turn 50.
Anyways, guys, I'm going to UNL tomorrow! Eeeeeek! Ahhhh! EXCITEMENT!
Some of my favorite people are out there. And we are going to bake and dance and do ridiculous things because UNL people are ridiculous. And I love public schools.
And despite my dread of becoming a "wman" and all the potential boring hair days it may entail, life is just...exciting right now!
I'm soooo (proud that every "o" worked that time) excited to graduate. To see what God will do afterwards. He is going to move so much! He has s much to teach me. I am ecstatic.
I'm excited for life to develop, for friends to get married, fr relationships to grow deeper. Always in the most unexpected ways.
And, most recently? I'm excited for the fascinating people I'm going to be seeing soon. I'll be visiting my public schol friends until Friday. Dear and wonderful people are coming to Omaha to catch up! Sarah and I are going to see an old friend as soon as the Christmas bells are done ringing in December. Life in the next few months is going to be so rich and full with old and new people. Ones that I miss. Ones that I wished lived closer, instead of Lincoln (dumb) or Iowa (dumber) or Minnesota (dumbest).
But it doesn't matter, BECAUSE I'M SO EXCITED!
Which is new for me.
You see, I've been extremely bitter and cynical for awhile. Crap has happened, and what do we do when we are so let down? We close up, we do not let ourselves becme excited anymore. We think our previous naive selves were so foolish to get their hopes up, and we will not let that happen again. So we do not get excited for anything. And we make bitter jokes about those who are.
And recently, I have asked myself, Is that fitting for His people? The mre I think about it, the more I realize that the cynics are just as insecure as those who flippantly get their hopes up. The cynics have just been around the block a few more times, and they know how to avoid it. But they are in no way more mature.
I think He wants us to still hope, because we can believe something extremely precious and mind-blowing: His no's are just as great as His yeses. We can pray for big things and dream big dreams because we know that even a "no" turns out absolutely wonderful. We get excited about upcoming events, yet have the faith to rest in His hand and His will when those much-anticipated things just don't end up happening. It's like if we pray for ice cream and He says no because he has peanut butter pie waiting for us (I just had peanut butter pie today and I'm so not over it). But peanut butter pie takes longer. We must be patient.
This is pretty cliche, but I think I'm actually starting to believe this. By His grace.
I have no reason to not be excited about life. Because He always moves. He always reveals Himself to those who seek Him. And if that's our true desire, life is always win-win. Sometimes it takes awhile to get to this point. We may get lots of "no's" until we see how He cultivates beauty from them. The road to Godly hoping is not an easy one. And I'm so not perfect at it. Goodness I hope yu don't think this is me bragging. Soooo not there yet. More "no's" are ahead for me, I'm certain. And sme of those no's I will not handle the best, unfortunately.
But I've seen the wonder He creates from those letdowns, and I think...I think I'm just as excited for the no's as I am for the yeses?
Thank You Jesus.
Do you know what I should be doing right now?
Packing.
So if any of you know me at all, you'll know that's exactly what I'm not doing.
Things I am doing:
-wrking on an 80s playlist for after-formal.
-really the playlist is to drown out the girls singing on my hall.
-Which is very hypocritical of me because I sing everything. All the time.
-Why did I start capitalizing this list?
-What is this list even of again?
I CAN'T EVEN STICK TO MY LIST OF DISTRACTINS.
Fall break is so close. So close! So my mind laughs at me when I decide to "stay on task."
I am turning 22 in less than a month. TWENTY-TWO. It hit me today. Twenty-two year-olds are...WOMEN. Twenty-one? Still pretty young and crazy. But twenty-two? You tell someone yu're that old and they have a degree of respect for you. They expect you to wear grown-up clothes and to do something with your hair. At twenty-two, you are expected to wear real pants.
 |
| these do nt qualify |
 |
| BUT I DON'T WANT TO TAKE OUT MY SIDE PONY TAIL |
Guys, I'm not a...woman. My mom is a woman. I have aunts that are women. I'm not a woman!
....but on November 20, I think I will be.
I'm going through a quarter-life crisis. Dear Lord what's going to happen when I turn 50.
Anyways, guys, I'm going to UNL tomorrow! Eeeeeek! Ahhhh! EXCITEMENT!
Some of my favorite people are out there. And we are going to bake and dance and do ridiculous things because UNL people are ridiculous. And I love public schools.
And despite my dread of becoming a "wman" and all the potential boring hair days it may entail, life is just...exciting right now!
I'm soooo (proud that every "o" worked that time) excited to graduate. To see what God will do afterwards. He is going to move so much! He has s much to teach me. I am ecstatic.
I'm excited for life to develop, for friends to get married, fr relationships to grow deeper. Always in the most unexpected ways.
And, most recently? I'm excited for the fascinating people I'm going to be seeing soon. I'll be visiting my public schol friends until Friday. Dear and wonderful people are coming to Omaha to catch up! Sarah and I are going to see an old friend as soon as the Christmas bells are done ringing in December. Life in the next few months is going to be so rich and full with old and new people. Ones that I miss. Ones that I wished lived closer, instead of Lincoln (dumb) or Iowa (dumber) or Minnesota (dumbest).
But it doesn't matter, BECAUSE I'M SO EXCITED!
 |
| epitome of excitement: cheek smile-pain! (still have the side pony) |
You see, I've been extremely bitter and cynical for awhile. Crap has happened, and what do we do when we are so let down? We close up, we do not let ourselves becme excited anymore. We think our previous naive selves were so foolish to get their hopes up, and we will not let that happen again. So we do not get excited for anything. And we make bitter jokes about those who are.
And recently, I have asked myself, Is that fitting for His people? The mre I think about it, the more I realize that the cynics are just as insecure as those who flippantly get their hopes up. The cynics have just been around the block a few more times, and they know how to avoid it. But they are in no way more mature.
I think He wants us to still hope, because we can believe something extremely precious and mind-blowing: His no's are just as great as His yeses. We can pray for big things and dream big dreams because we know that even a "no" turns out absolutely wonderful. We get excited about upcoming events, yet have the faith to rest in His hand and His will when those much-anticipated things just don't end up happening. It's like if we pray for ice cream and He says no because he has peanut butter pie waiting for us (I just had peanut butter pie today and I'm so not over it). But peanut butter pie takes longer. We must be patient.
This is pretty cliche, but I think I'm actually starting to believe this. By His grace.
I have no reason to not be excited about life. Because He always moves. He always reveals Himself to those who seek Him. And if that's our true desire, life is always win-win. Sometimes it takes awhile to get to this point. We may get lots of "no's" until we see how He cultivates beauty from them. The road to Godly hoping is not an easy one. And I'm so not perfect at it. Goodness I hope yu don't think this is me bragging. Soooo not there yet. More "no's" are ahead for me, I'm certain. And sme of those no's I will not handle the best, unfortunately.
But I've seen the wonder He creates from those letdowns, and I think...I think I'm just as excited for the no's as I am for the yeses?
Thank You Jesus.
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