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The bedroom walls locked me into my own shame, that pit of dread in my stomach, the burning on my cheeks. It was time to confess, I knew, time to fess up to this crime I'd kept burdened in my throat for months in hopes that the shame would dissipate but alas, it had only reverberated more deeply in my soul, and I could no longer bear it. I walked out into the garage where I knew my mother was, and I cringed as I tasted the bitter truth roll past my tongue: I cheated in library class to get a piece of candy . Mom reacted graciously despite the immensity of the crime, though looking back I am imagining the subtle smile my mother likely tried to hide as she reassured me she already knew, that my 2nd grade teacher had told her, and that she'd deemed my punishment in class enough. This library incident was no doubt the apex of rebellion for me. Good Girl blood flowed in my veins; God forbid I make any waves, upset anyone, and my Christ...

It used to be that every day was this experience I felt I could have blogged about, if I had the time. College came with fiery emotions and cynicism and tears and dreams of the life I thought I wanted. But life settles after marrying and especially after a baby, and it feels like each day isn't the adventure it once was. Sometimes a whole week feels like one long day, sometimes the answers and the tidy conclusions just don't present themselves as they once did.  It doesn't help that I've been avoiding turning this space into a MomBlog because most of the things I'm currently learning are things ALL THE MOMS have already shared. They're trite and make all the non-moms roll their eyes, and I just currently have nothing new to present in that area. So, what is this space supposed to be, then? In an effort to elevate my walk with the Lord and not lose my identity in Him, my goal is to write more often, to devote this to processing my thoughts with the Lord...