whitney dziurawiec

I just took Benedryl so we’ll see how things go. For some reason I am itchy right now. And I’m not talking about “I want to go to Boston” itchy. I’m not talking about “I just want to graduate” itchy. I’m literally. Itchy. My scalp and neck and back and chest and armpits. Even my eyelids. They’re so itchy. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. But I’ve been thinking about the figurative itches we get. Boston came on my ipod today and I almost packed my bags. I’m itching to see how things play out. And it is so tempting to scratch. But if you didn’t know, I’m going to fill you in on itchiness because I feel fairly adequate enough to explain this to you due to multiple overreactions to bug bites in the past: It never helps to scratch. It may feel good for awhile. It may even go away for awhile. But it comes roaring and flaring back, and we are stuck with our bottle of calamine lotion and desperate prayers. Scratching makes the affected area so much worse and, ironically, more itchy. We...

I’ve been sick and sleeping a lot today. And life has been a whirlwind recently. Maybe being sick is divine providence…I need to take it easy. In that case, yes, I will take two naps in one day after sleeping ten hours. Sounds good to me. Except for the fact that I keep falling asleep and waking up to different thoughts and worries and stresses…part of me just wants to stay asleep for a long time. It’s my roommate and her boyfriend’s six-month anniversary. Time is a funny thing, I’m beginning to realize. I have been thinking about how things have changed over time recently. Let’s go back to six months ago…oh right. Gingers and zoos and awkwardness. Yeah..uh..let’s go a bit further… Ok, one year ago. Oh, right…I was deciding whether I had feelings for this boy or not…and this boy happens to be the one celebrating his six-month with my roommate. Life. Maybe we’ll just stick to the present. I’m sitting here about to go to bed at 10:30, sniffling and coughing and wishing this apple c...

It is way too late for me to still be up. But I never want to go to bed after I work for some reason. At least I’m not running outside though…baby steps. Tonight I had a really long talk with my co-worker Clint about God and life and everything in between. It was…hard. Clint is so cynical and logical. He is smart and had an intelligent comeback whenever I would say what I believed or what had happened in my life that made God so real to me. It seems almost impossible for the walls around his heart to be broken down. Thank goodness my God has torn down bigger walls before. Both literal and figurative. Can I be brutally honest tonight? Like…really honest. I’m not in the mood for pretending I figured something out today. This cynicism of Clint’s about religion and spirituality…it reminded me of my cynicism. Guys, I’ve gotten really bad. There is literally almost no optimism left in my heart in this area. I’m twenty and I’m done. How is that even possible? I hear fellow single girl...

We search for God in order to find Him with greater joy, and we find Him in order to keep on searching with greater love. That quote has been resonating in my soul the past few days. I needed to share it. Anyways... I got back from sleeping over at Tania’s house. I missed church because we both decided we didn’t want to go. Don’t judge us. But something about Sundays makes me need to put on a dress. So I got ready for nothing. I put on a dress and washed my face and brushed my teeth and opened the window. And then I sat in Sarah’s hammock. And I just started writing. I just needed time with Him. During the day. My recent times with Him have been far too past midnight, and I’m not sure how capable my mind is at that point. I wanted Him at 11:30 am on a Sunday morning when everyone else is eating their Sunday dinners with their families. So I started writing and my hand just kept going. I’ve been asking a lot of people for advice lately. And I’m overwhelmed by the different res...