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Well, hi, 2011. It’s nice to meet you. And although you came rather lamely for me, I’m sure your entrance was fairly exciting for the rest of the world.

Last night I was driving from work (part one of my lame new year’s eve) to a party that was probably equally as lame.

I remembered the last new year’s eve. I was with a friend and her family. And we were joking about wishing we had a New Year’s Eve midnight kiss. Except I wasn’t joking. I was genuinely and sincerely discontent.

Or the year before, out with another friend, resenting old friends and eager to make lots and lots of new ones. Grown a lot, but still vulnerable, scared, and not quite ready.

Or the year before that, when I was severely depressed, self-conscious, lonely, not wanting another year to come, if it would be anything like the year before. I probably did more crying than laughing that night.

And now I am: content. Unafraid. Ready. Happy with a genuine, deep happiness that is not rooted in new shoes or new boys or lots of money. Really good with myself.

But there are things that need to change, I know. But I am confident that next year, I will be able to add this New Year’s Eve to the list of past ones, and see how many things, beautiful, beautiful things, will come. He is making beautiful things out of our weaknesses, our failures, our desires. Even out of lame New Years Eves. And He is making beautiful things out of me. So that the beauty of what He makes me to be can bring Him glory. The beauty of Him continually making me new. He is making me new. Each and every day. Each and every year.

He must know how easily I get bored, thank goodness.

Keep making me new, Lord.

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll even find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

All around, hope is springing up from this old ground,
Out of chaos, life is being found in You.

You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us.

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