whitney dziurawiec

Yes, I realize I just wrote yesterday. And you must be thinking "she cannot possibly have more to say." I wish I didn't! I try not to let myself write when I'm not doing well because I like hopeful things. I like 30 minute sitcom-style blogs where the problem is solved and the revelation is reached and every satisfying conclusion has inspirationally been made. I don't really like looking back and reading lies I believed, or how pessimistic I was at that point. I don't like leaving things un-figured out. Because it usually passes, and I usually end up rereading it and thinking, Yeah I'm stupid. But God is teaching me that some things we aren't supposed to get. We aren't really promised clarity. We don't always get revelations. Oh, and also because I like people to think that I'm okay. And I like encouraging my readers! Strangers and close friends, or WHOEVER you are (my pageviews tell me there are people in Russia reading this?), I...

Sunday was my last Sunday at home. God reminding me He loves me in the church bathroom... Or a high school girl hoping to inspire females everywhere  helping friends move: the perfect workout Monday was my last Monday nannying. he's sad. really, he is.  And my summer is slowly and sweetly coming to an end. For the first time, I wasn't anxious all summer. I wasn't trying to get it over with, I wasn't waiting for school to start. God gave me a love for my boys and a missional heart to overwhelm them with His love and that was what I poured myself into this summer. That, and go to a lot of weddings. This weekend was my fourth wedding weekend in a row. A friend asked me if I'm sick of them, and honestly...I'm not. I can be quite vocal in my complaints about finding chalk and yellow heels, about taping table cloths down to tables and about making bouquets. And I really need to stop that. Because there is something about a wedding that ge...

I grew up thinking being a girl was bad. Being a girl meant being a fun sucker. Girls are wimps. Girls make boys have to watch where their hands go during pick-up football games. Girls cry. When girls have their say in what channel to watch on TV, there are usually fits thrown as Lifetime pours its drama into my wide eyes and popcorn-filled mouth. Girls mean hormones and bathroom hogs. Girls mean having to buy TAMPONS at the store. Girls mean family vacations to Desmet, South Dakota to see the Laura Ingalls Wilder exhibit. Elementary Whitney believed girls are annoying, and I spent my whole life trying NOT to be that dumb girl. So I let my Barbies be innocent victims of the Ninja Turtles' nemeses. I would play football and let them tackle me. I ran around with my shirt off and laughed at farts and bought Husker shirts. I was the official announcer for my brother's wrestling matches and I never let a sarcastic remark offend me. And even now. I will sit at a table with al...

It's been a long, fuzzy, lazy day. this was me, all day long  One of those days I would probably use a do-over card if God dealt those. The boys were out of it, I was out of it. So we drowned out the heat and gave in to our exhaustion by watching volleyball and rowing and water polo and kayaking and I let them have nachos for lunch. Because watching people burn calories burns calories, right? I'm proud of myself that I didn't eat the whole bowl of Jello when I got home today. I'm proud (and completely dumbfounded) that I made it through today without caffeine. I'm proud of myself for thinking about the fact that I need to think about packing to go back to school. It's like that, sometimes when you're desperate for some dignity. We cling to the smallest successes. Despite my body's refusal to do anything today, my heart was in a different place. Recently, people have been getting into my heart and completely breaking it. And I'm not ...

Confession time: I really don't like the zoo very much. I know, I KNOW. Whitney it's the HENRY DOORLY ZOO! It's the best zoo in the country! It's amazing! How do you hate the zoo with all the cute animals and amazing exhibits?! How dare you?! You guys don't understand. Mostly because I went on two horrible dates, and one migraine-inducing daycare field trip there and it's just never been the same for me. Let me tell you, when you're with a really awkward guy and you daydream about falling to your death into the lion's cages, it just puts a damper on the whole place. When you've spent the whole day counting how many kids you have, saving children who were stuck in fences, and prying first graders off of you during the Kingdoms of the Night exhibit, something about it just doesn't make me skip around to a happy song when I hear that we're going to the zoo today. I wish it were different. Plus animals and I have never really gotten along (...

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I weren't a music major. What I would do with those two extra hours a day. How much more fun would I have? How much LESS stressed would I be every day of the year?! How many dumb music jokes would I be spared from listening to????? And summers, dear Lord...summers would NOT involve practicing piano. Man, if I weren't about to be a senior and hadn't already put hundreds of hours into this "senior recital" thing, I would be seriously tempted to abandon it all and just move to Boston, quite possibly giving that music department a finger they may be offended by. Kiiiiidding. Secretaries can't say that. I should be practicing right now. I have this schedule of things to memorize each week but there's this one song I hate and always leave until the end and by then I have no motivation and by that time my legs are stuck to the piano bench and getting up rips a layer of skin off and then I bang on the key...