whitney dziurawiec

Staring out the window, pretending the [albeit beautiful] cornfield landscape is the New England coast and wishing our honeymoon fund had a few extra zeroes attached to the amount, contemplating a beautiful soul I know who will be with Jesus any day now, and celebrating the life of a dear friend whose birthday is today. Emotions, only one of which I'm [quite literally] wearing on my sleeve: ...and all others exhibited via an impulsive bangs decision that I'm not sure if I like, but whatever. My heart has changed a lot in the past month and I feel the need to share this because I think it's important. I noticed the difference last week when a family (whom we had met ONCE) had us and another family over for dinner. I've felt the difference in my morning runs and my afternoon yoga. In how I view the fridge, working out, and community in general. About a month ago, I saw a lot of my thought processes and lifestyle choices and realized the implications of those. In...

I have a draft saved on here, another in my head, and another burning as a lump in my throat. And this is none of those. Summer and fall are fighting brutally; their punches and kicks wisp around me and so it is a necessary pony tail day. Horrible news made us rethink going to the pumpkin patch for our day off, but we went anyway because I am about what works, and crying on my bed all day doesn't work, however tempting it is. And those pervasive questions threaten to mist over my eyes and heat my cheeks and so I haven't formed them yet, haven't asked because the answers will swarm if I ask and I don't want swarming, stiff answers right now. Those questions are important, they are real and they are justifiable. Terrible things do happen, they do swarm and overcome. Death, sickness, destroyed relationships, no answers, spirals of chaos and resentment and anger and pain. There is an undeniable ache to this life: that is something both the privileged and the oppressed...