whitney dziurawiec

Some people just make me stressed and anxious. People that overthink things and constantly have to spit out some carefully worded message that defines their current problem. It just makes me want to run away and watch a sunset or something. People make things too complicated. I used to do that. I took little problems. I would blow them up and draw them out. I made them much bigger than they were. I over-thought them. It was miserable. Today my friend and I rode our bikes to Village Inn. We tried a different route home and got lost. It was 10:15 pm and we were stuck in the middle of a suburban neighborhood. It was great. We would try a street, realize it wasn't right, and turn back around. No whining, no wishing we hadn't tried this new way, we just kept biking. It was fun. We smiled blissfully as each street took us farther away from our destination. We even ended up at my old house. We laughed as the street we were supposed to be on came to a dead end. Our mini-workout became ...

The other night I was laying in bed. I couldn't sleep, my late-night Dr. Pepper had taken hold of me. My mind kept going and going, a result of the sugar. I knew I wouldn't be sleeping well that night and had given up trying. I was attempting to make use of my time by praying, but my mind couldn't focus. All of a sudden, a feeling swelled in my belly. I don't even know what I was thinking of, really. I just started dreaming about my future in general. Nothing that specific, just my future. Usually, when I used to dream, I dreamt with fear. Fear of if what I was dreaming wouldn't come true. But this was different. It was peaceful. It was exciting. This time, I knew that if what I was thinking about didn't come true, better things would come along. The feeling in my belly took awhile to go away, and I didn't really want it to go away. Sure, it kept me awake. But it was the best feeling I'd felt in a long time. It wasn't really a feeling either. It was ...

Oh dear it has been much too long. Life has been almost dizzying, but good. I thank God that He answers prayers, that He sees desires, and hears cries. I am changing, I can feel it. It is such a good change. I am realizing my inability to please Him on my own, and my NEED (I wish there was a stronger word for this) for His Spirit to do it for me. I'm realizing it's not about doing, it's about stopping. Stop trying, stop striving, just surrender to His glory. How blissfully freeing it is to just stop and let Him move. To admit that I, along with my attempts at good deeds, come up overwhelmingly short. How wonderful it is to know that I don't have to do this anymore; He will. And, oh, His glory. His beauty. His majesty. They fill me when I surrender. I feel so small when I think of how big He is. But I think that's how it's supposed to be. The smaller I am, the smaller my desires, my will, and my plans are. And His grow ever so bigger. I don't want to go back ...